When I lived in West Africa, I learned very quickly that nobody likes snakes. It may sound like a broad generalization, but I'm not lying. Nobody liked snakes. They hated worms because they looked like snakes. I saw grown men run away in terror as someone brought a very large worm into their presence.
I know that not all snakes are evil. They eliminate pesky rodents and serve a useful purpose. Yep, I was an educated American in their midst. And, I did my part to change people's minds.
I was such a fool.
One day my friend Timothy spotted a little black snake in my front yard. It looked like a garter snake. He wanted to kill it immediately. Again, I took this as an opportunity to educate my friend. "Not all snakes are dangerous. You don't have to kill every snake you see." But, he looked at me and I could see what he was thinking. "You fool! What do you know about snakes?"
W H O P!!!!
He took a long stick and smashed it across that innocent little creature. That's when I saw the back arch up and the neck flare out. It was a cobra. That's right, a cobra in my front yard. I had no idea that there were any cobras in Liberia. Now, my mama didn't raise no fool. Sometimes I'm a quick learner. I was a convert. I immediately told Timothy, "You know, you can kill any snake you see in my yard."
It's my observation that bugs don't get any more respect than snakes. There are some that serve a very useful purpose. Others are simply beautiful. But, most people don't want them in their homes. And, that's the same in the United States and across the far corners of the globe.
I've come to realize that the food I like the best is what my mother served me when I was a child. Mom never prepared any kind of insects for me to eat. So, as I wander the planet, I still don't want to eat anything with six legs, a couple pair of wings and possibly a stinger. I know that insects are a valuable source of protein, protein that is so important for a healthy diet. That's head knowledge but not stomach knowledge. I still don't want to eat a handful of bug-a-bugs (termites) like I do popcorn. I'm not interested in roasting a gbargor (rhinoceros beetle) like a marshmallow. Fried up and crispy grasshoppers do nothing for me. And, even with a healthy dose of chocolate, I'm still not interested in ants.
But, like I said, some bugs are good. I just got a big bite from one of the not-so-dangerous kind of bugs. I went to my all-time favorite play, "The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee". It was my fifth time to see the play, and I got a serious bite by the acting bug.
Since I've been to the play before, I knew that they would select four members from the audience to participate in the bee. So, before the play started, I was on the lookout for anyone auditioning possible spellers. It was my fourth time to attempt this. Now, I know when you audition for anything, it's always good to make sure you stand out in a crowd. I met with the official spelling bee pronouncer. He asked what I did. When I said I painted murals around the world, he asked if I had done anything locally that he might see. I told him about the NNEMAP mural I did near a huge intersection in Columbus. And, that mural came with a memorable story. While we were painting, there was a three-car pile-up. Now, I've always seen in movies where a beautiful female jogger causes accidents. But, this was the first time I ever saw an accident caused by great art. And since nobody was hurt, I just couldn't force myself to feel guilty about the accident. I was just too pleased.
So, I stood out in the crowd.
After the opening number of the play, I was one of the four people from the audience called up to participate. I could not have been any more delighted. But, I wasn't done yet. My nephew, Hunter, was in this play the last time I saw it. He gave me insider information. That pronouncer wheeled a lot of control in the play. After all, he determined if you had to spell "lysergic acid diethylamide" or "cow". And if he liked you, which means if you were an entertaining spelling bee-er, you stayed in the competition longer.
I was briefly introduced to the crowd before spelling anything. That's when the audience - and I - learned that I had just recovered from head lice. Naturally, I started scratching underneath my hat. Those kinds of nasty bugs are not welcome in homes or schools, on heads or under hats. Nobody will disagree with that except for the people who make head lice shampoo.
My first word to spell was actually "cow". As soon as I was given that word, the other bees went nuts. If I had been thinking fast enough, I would have said, "If you don't like it, mooooooove on out of here." I didn't think that quickly. But, I still knew how to stand out. I was supposed to ask two questions. "What is the definition?" and "Can you use it in a sentence?" I asked a third question. "Can you spell the first syllable?"
Already a standout!
For my next introduction, the audience was informed that I had a birthmark the shape of the Philippine Islands. Right away, one of the other spellers called out, "Where is it?" I said, "I'll show it to you if I win." Neither contestants, judges nor audience members expected that reply. I, however, knew I was safe. I wasn't about to win the spelling bee.
Other audience spellers fell by the wayside. My next word was "dengue". The only reason I knew the correct spelling was because I had lived in the Philippines where it was a problem. So, I leaned into the microphone and said, "If you had a birthmark the same shape as the Philippine Islands, you might also know that they have dengue fever. D E N G U E."
I'm so pleased to report that I was the last audience participant. When it was time for me to go, I miraculously spelled a word I'd never heard of, can't remember, and couldn't believe I got right. I started to return to the contestants' row, but my name was called again, and then again. I finally went out because I couldn't spell "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious".
When the play was over, I had several people in the audience come up to congratulate me. One woman asked if I was a plant in the audience. She couldn't believe I had no advance preparation for what I did. Another man told me that I stole the show. Now, I'm always pleased when a minor character steals the show. I'm even more pleased when that character is me. So, I'm guessing you can understand why I tell you that I just have been bitten by the acting bug. I think I might have to seek out an audition.
There is another bug that is also looming in my future. It's not as innocent as the acting bug. It's more like that cobra in my yard. In my last blog, I mentioned how I was hoping for an "international God thing". It happened. I just got the invitation to return to Liberia for another round of murals. I'm not sure how many I'll be doing. It could be anywhere between three and five. So, that's a long time in the country and a lot of opportunity for nasty malaria-carrying mosquitoes to find me. The best way to avoid malaria (And who needs it for the sixth time?) is to take the proper medicine and go during the dry season. That's December to February. So, it looks like I might have more adventures with snakes and bugs sooner rather than later.
I know that not all snakes are evil. They eliminate pesky rodents and serve a useful purpose. Yep, I was an educated American in their midst. And, I did my part to change people's minds.
I was such a fool.
One day my friend Timothy spotted a little black snake in my front yard. It looked like a garter snake. He wanted to kill it immediately. Again, I took this as an opportunity to educate my friend. "Not all snakes are dangerous. You don't have to kill every snake you see." But, he looked at me and I could see what he was thinking. "You fool! What do you know about snakes?"
W H O P!!!!
He took a long stick and smashed it across that innocent little creature. That's when I saw the back arch up and the neck flare out. It was a cobra. That's right, a cobra in my front yard. I had no idea that there were any cobras in Liberia. Now, my mama didn't raise no fool. Sometimes I'm a quick learner. I was a convert. I immediately told Timothy, "You know, you can kill any snake you see in my yard."
It's my observation that bugs don't get any more respect than snakes. There are some that serve a very useful purpose. Others are simply beautiful. But, most people don't want them in their homes. And, that's the same in the United States and across the far corners of the globe.
I've come to realize that the food I like the best is what my mother served me when I was a child. Mom never prepared any kind of insects for me to eat. So, as I wander the planet, I still don't want to eat anything with six legs, a couple pair of wings and possibly a stinger. I know that insects are a valuable source of protein, protein that is so important for a healthy diet. That's head knowledge but not stomach knowledge. I still don't want to eat a handful of bug-a-bugs (termites) like I do popcorn. I'm not interested in roasting a gbargor (rhinoceros beetle) like a marshmallow. Fried up and crispy grasshoppers do nothing for me. And, even with a healthy dose of chocolate, I'm still not interested in ants.
But, like I said, some bugs are good. I just got a big bite from one of the not-so-dangerous kind of bugs. I went to my all-time favorite play, "The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee". It was my fifth time to see the play, and I got a serious bite by the acting bug.
Since I've been to the play before, I knew that they would select four members from the audience to participate in the bee. So, before the play started, I was on the lookout for anyone auditioning possible spellers. It was my fourth time to attempt this. Now, I know when you audition for anything, it's always good to make sure you stand out in a crowd. I met with the official spelling bee pronouncer. He asked what I did. When I said I painted murals around the world, he asked if I had done anything locally that he might see. I told him about the NNEMAP mural I did near a huge intersection in Columbus. And, that mural came with a memorable story. While we were painting, there was a three-car pile-up. Now, I've always seen in movies where a beautiful female jogger causes accidents. But, this was the first time I ever saw an accident caused by great art. And since nobody was hurt, I just couldn't force myself to feel guilty about the accident. I was just too pleased.
So, I stood out in the crowd.
After the opening number of the play, I was one of the four people from the audience called up to participate. I could not have been any more delighted. But, I wasn't done yet. My nephew, Hunter, was in this play the last time I saw it. He gave me insider information. That pronouncer wheeled a lot of control in the play. After all, he determined if you had to spell "lysergic acid diethylamide" or "cow". And if he liked you, which means if you were an entertaining spelling bee-er, you stayed in the competition longer.
I was briefly introduced to the crowd before spelling anything. That's when the audience - and I - learned that I had just recovered from head lice. Naturally, I started scratching underneath my hat. Those kinds of nasty bugs are not welcome in homes or schools, on heads or under hats. Nobody will disagree with that except for the people who make head lice shampoo.
My first word to spell was actually "cow". As soon as I was given that word, the other bees went nuts. If I had been thinking fast enough, I would have said, "If you don't like it, mooooooove on out of here." I didn't think that quickly. But, I still knew how to stand out. I was supposed to ask two questions. "What is the definition?" and "Can you use it in a sentence?" I asked a third question. "Can you spell the first syllable?"
Already a standout!
For my next introduction, the audience was informed that I had a birthmark the shape of the Philippine Islands. Right away, one of the other spellers called out, "Where is it?" I said, "I'll show it to you if I win." Neither contestants, judges nor audience members expected that reply. I, however, knew I was safe. I wasn't about to win the spelling bee.
Other audience spellers fell by the wayside. My next word was "dengue". The only reason I knew the correct spelling was because I had lived in the Philippines where it was a problem. So, I leaned into the microphone and said, "If you had a birthmark the same shape as the Philippine Islands, you might also know that they have dengue fever. D E N G U E."
I'm so pleased to report that I was the last audience participant. When it was time for me to go, I miraculously spelled a word I'd never heard of, can't remember, and couldn't believe I got right. I started to return to the contestants' row, but my name was called again, and then again. I finally went out because I couldn't spell "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious".
When the play was over, I had several people in the audience come up to congratulate me. One woman asked if I was a plant in the audience. She couldn't believe I had no advance preparation for what I did. Another man told me that I stole the show. Now, I'm always pleased when a minor character steals the show. I'm even more pleased when that character is me. So, I'm guessing you can understand why I tell you that I just have been bitten by the acting bug. I think I might have to seek out an audition.
There is another bug that is also looming in my future. It's not as innocent as the acting bug. It's more like that cobra in my yard. In my last blog, I mentioned how I was hoping for an "international God thing". It happened. I just got the invitation to return to Liberia for another round of murals. I'm not sure how many I'll be doing. It could be anywhere between three and five. So, that's a long time in the country and a lot of opportunity for nasty malaria-carrying mosquitoes to find me. The best way to avoid malaria (And who needs it for the sixth time?) is to take the proper medicine and go during the dry season. That's December to February. So, it looks like I might have more adventures with snakes and bugs sooner rather than later.
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