My high school English teachers always tried to get us to remember famous quotes from books. I only remember two, and I also remember that I didn't like either book at all. Not one little bit! If you remember, "Call me Ishmael," then you endured Moby Dick just like I did. And, if you also recognize, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times," you may also wonder why in the world A Tale of Two Cities is considered a classic. I've read a lot of good books in my life. Sadly, most of them were not assigned to me in high school.
All this to say, I just completed my latest book. For variety, it is not a children's book. It's a cookbook. And, for those of your who know me, you know it's even more humorous because I am no chef. I don't even pretend to be one. But, I believe this book is a good read. The full title is Cooking Disasters -- the Recipes Won't Kill You, but Gathering Them Nearly Did Me In! I think it grabs the reader's attention. I've shared the stories included in this book over the years, and even blogged about some of them, but this is the first time I've put them together at your fingertips in one collection. And, I think I start it out with a quote that captures your attention at least as good as Melville and Dickens managed to come up with.
Here goes:
.........I should be dead.
.........I should be dead so many times over.
.........There are so many stories I never told my mother, because I really should be dead.
The cookbook has recipes I've gathered from my travels around the world. There are photographs from exotic locations as well as the dishes. I just happen to include fifteen travel disasters that have never happened to anyone else I know, unless they traveled with me. Just to give you a hint of some of the misadventures that are included, I'm going to copy chapter 1, the introduction chapter, for you right here.
I only told my mother about malaria the first time I was sick. It kills more people around the world than AIDS, but it just doesn't tend to make the news so much. And, when my mother learned about the first time when I was in the Peace Corps, I knew better than to ever tell her about the other four bouts with that disease.
Yep, malaria could have killed me.
I don't have the best record with transportation either. I'm one of the reasons why Peace Corps Volunteers are not allowed to ride motorcycles. I've had problems on buses too. I've been involved with a minor wreck in Morocco and a head-on collision in the Ivory Coast. Then, a tap tap (public transportation truck) in Haiti lost its breaks as we careened down a hill.
And, there's my driving. I totaled my car once, spinning out of control on a gravel road in very rural Indiana. Two trees, one on each end of my car, prevented me from flipping over and dropping ten feet into a ditch. There were only two trees there that could have stopped me. My car managed to hit them both just right.
Walking hasn't been safe either. While crossing a bridge in the heart of the Ivory Coast's capital, my two friends were nearly mugged. I’ll tell you later why Superman's got nothing on me.
Yep, I should be dead.
Even on my trip to Fiji, I took a major fall in the dark on a wooden stairs. (I know, no sympathy.) Other stories include typhoons, earthquakes, an angry voodoo priestess, near drowning, prison, and poison.
See what I mean? I seem to have more lives than most cats.
I have always joked about having a guardian angel. Some people have suggested I've worn mine out and should get a new one. I reply on those occasions that I'm not giving up on an angel that has done such a good job protecting me. My mama didn't raise no fool. She just raised a son who never stayed as close to Ohio as she preferred.
Well, as I channel surfed in my car, I stopped on a Catholic radio station. I didn’t know there was such a thing. But, the conversation captured my attention. They were discussing guardian angels. I'd never heard anyone seriously discuss guardian angels before. I don't think I ever actually considered them as a real possibility. However, Bible passages about them were cited, and the Catholics had a prayer for guardian angels. Who knew?
Okay, now I'm seriously not going to ask for a replacement. The guardian angel assigned to me has been doing a super job and never once complained about all of the overtime.
I will continue to wander away from Ohio, protected.
All of my books are available on my website. I'm now up to 22 children's books, a few coffee table books, and a smattering of cookbooks. This latest book will be added to the site as soon as I get a sample approved from the printer.
All this to say, I just completed my latest book. For variety, it is not a children's book. It's a cookbook. And, for those of your who know me, you know it's even more humorous because I am no chef. I don't even pretend to be one. But, I believe this book is a good read. The full title is Cooking Disasters -- the Recipes Won't Kill You, but Gathering Them Nearly Did Me In! I think it grabs the reader's attention. I've shared the stories included in this book over the years, and even blogged about some of them, but this is the first time I've put them together at your fingertips in one collection. And, I think I start it out with a quote that captures your attention at least as good as Melville and Dickens managed to come up with.
Here goes:
.........I should be dead.
.........I should be dead so many times over.
.........There are so many stories I never told my mother, because I really should be dead.
The cookbook has recipes I've gathered from my travels around the world. There are photographs from exotic locations as well as the dishes. I just happen to include fifteen travel disasters that have never happened to anyone else I know, unless they traveled with me. Just to give you a hint of some of the misadventures that are included, I'm going to copy chapter 1, the introduction chapter, for you right here.
I only told my mother about malaria the first time I was sick. It kills more people around the world than AIDS, but it just doesn't tend to make the news so much. And, when my mother learned about the first time when I was in the Peace Corps, I knew better than to ever tell her about the other four bouts with that disease.
Yep, malaria could have killed me.
I don't have the best record with transportation either. I'm one of the reasons why Peace Corps Volunteers are not allowed to ride motorcycles. I've had problems on buses too. I've been involved with a minor wreck in Morocco and a head-on collision in the Ivory Coast. Then, a tap tap (public transportation truck) in Haiti lost its breaks as we careened down a hill.
And, there's my driving. I totaled my car once, spinning out of control on a gravel road in very rural Indiana. Two trees, one on each end of my car, prevented me from flipping over and dropping ten feet into a ditch. There were only two trees there that could have stopped me. My car managed to hit them both just right.
Walking hasn't been safe either. While crossing a bridge in the heart of the Ivory Coast's capital, my two friends were nearly mugged. I’ll tell you later why Superman's got nothing on me.
Yep, I should be dead.
Even on my trip to Fiji, I took a major fall in the dark on a wooden stairs. (I know, no sympathy.) Other stories include typhoons, earthquakes, an angry voodoo priestess, near drowning, prison, and poison.
See what I mean? I seem to have more lives than most cats.
I have always joked about having a guardian angel. Some people have suggested I've worn mine out and should get a new one. I reply on those occasions that I'm not giving up on an angel that has done such a good job protecting me. My mama didn't raise no fool. She just raised a son who never stayed as close to Ohio as she preferred.
Well, as I channel surfed in my car, I stopped on a Catholic radio station. I didn’t know there was such a thing. But, the conversation captured my attention. They were discussing guardian angels. I'd never heard anyone seriously discuss guardian angels before. I don't think I ever actually considered them as a real possibility. However, Bible passages about them were cited, and the Catholics had a prayer for guardian angels. Who knew?
Okay, now I'm seriously not going to ask for a replacement. The guardian angel assigned to me has been doing a super job and never once complained about all of the overtime.
I will continue to wander away from Ohio, protected.
All of my books are available on my website. I'm now up to 22 children's books, a few coffee table books, and a smattering of cookbooks. This latest book will be added to the site as soon as I get a sample approved from the printer.
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