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Bats, Gnats and Bears

8/24/2021

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Picture
Bats - Problems with bats had to be eliminated before I could (or would) come to Alaska.  If you don’t know what I’m talking about, go back and read my last blog.  I’m not sure what happened.  There are no pest control kinds of people working near King Salmon.  I don’t know how the problem was solved.  However, they are gone from inside the Batcave, my affectionate name for my sister’s house.  Batboy is also missing.  He flew home to be with grandparents and start the preventative treatment for rabies.  Ouch!

Upon closer inspection, it was easy to see how the bats got into their cave.  The home has a huge balcony. Everyone enjoys the side facing the lake.  The side of the balcony wrapping around to the right side of the home is narrow and rarely ever used.  But, with bats came a closer inspection of the eaves.  How did those bats get in the cave?  Well, blame it on the previous owners.  They must have loved birds.  Under the eaves, they drilled holes that were large enough for birds to come in and nest.  I don’t know if any birds ever took advantage of the situation.  But, the local bat population found and infested the Batcave.

Bats still hang out around the Batcave, just not in it, thankfully.  Some of the kitchen staff at the lodge resides with me in the Batcave.  I heard one girl say that she really didn’t like to leave the house in the mornings.  Bats tended to dive at the lights and at the humans under the lights.  I wouldn’t like it either.  But, when I get up, hours after the kitchen crew has long gone, there are no bats in sight.

These workers leave before six in the morning.  They are working when humans really should be sleeping. However, one morning, I was curious enough to get up just as the crew left the Batcave.  Lights were on around the balcony and I watched those little vampires dive left and right.  I counted the seconds between dives.  The highest count was five seconds apart.  Usually, they were two seconds apart or less.  I have no plans to ever leave the Batcave that early.  But, if I do, I will have a netting or towel wrapped around my head.  I have no desire to meet Count Dracula at any time – morning, noon, night and especially before dawn.

Gnats – I am a bug magnet.  I’ve been one ever since I knew it was a possibility.  I heard someplace while I was in Africa that certain blood types attracted malaria mosquitoes more than others.  My blood type is the universal donor, and those bloodsuckers universally enjoyed it.  I had malaria five times.  I think I can rest my case about being a bug magnet.  Do you know anyone else who has had malaria five times?

My magnetic personality has followed me to Alaska.  This place is infested with bugs the likes of which I’ve never seen anywhere.  I don’t know how fishermen enjoy the experience.  I don’t know how fishing guides do their jobs. It could be because all the bugs seem to be attracted to me and leave the rest of the population alone.  The bugs swarm all over me.  I’m the lucky one.  I’m special.  I’m bug bait.

I want to walk most days while in Alaska.  But, it isn’t all that enjoyable with a cloud of insects swarming about my face.  If I want to walk for an hour in the tundra, I have to do something that I absolutely refused to do the last time in Alaska.  I got a netting to go over my head and hat.  I guess it was a little bit of pride that kept me from doing that in the past.  I didn’t want to look so much like a tourist.  But, sometimes, you just have to throw away your pride in order to survive.  I did just that.  And, now I can walk freely.  Yes, the bugs still swarm about me.  Yes, there are mosquitoes, but they don’t get through the netting or long sleeves.  There are also bugs called no-see-ums.  They see me and I see them.  But, none of them get through the net.  There are probably other bugs as well like gnats, flies, fleas and other flying scoundrels that I hate.  But, they aren’t getting through the netting.  So, life is relatively bug-free.

Bears – My sister said that if I’m going to walk in the tundra, even on the main road (the only road), I need to take bear spray with me.  After all, I walk next to a tundra landscape where I saw a mama bear and two cubs barrel across one morning.  Bear spray is probably a wise move.  And, I’m told that it is safer than a gun.  A wounded bear could still knock the snot out of any annoying human to cross his path.  Bear spray is more effective. Temporarily blinded bears don’t knock the snot out of nothing.

My sister said that they once had an old can of bear spray.  It remained in one of their cabins over the winter and froze.  How cold does it have to be outside for things in your home to freeze?  No, the cabin has no heating during the winter.  But, it still sounds ridiculously cold during a tundra winter.

I have a fear about bear spray.  Yes, I have a bigger fear of the bears, but I also fear the spray.  I’m sure if I used it, I would spray that mist into the wind and have it all blow back on me.  That’s exactly what happened to my brother-in-law and his son when they tested that formerly frozen can of bear spray.  It worked.  But, the wind worked even better.  There was a stampede into the kitchen sink to find running water.  They were in agony, but I still kind of wish my sister had pulled out her phone to make a video.  The nephew gets married this fall and that video would have been priceless entertainment.  Even if he never got married, I’d still like to see that video.

Of course, I want to see bears while here in Alaska.  Lots of bears.  But there is the simple truth that nobody needs to see a bear up close and personal.  However, if you stay in Alaska long enough, it seems that many people have bear stories to tell.  I thoroughly enjoy my time in Alaska, but I don’t want to stay here long enough to have a personal bear encounter.

There has already been a really good bear story for this season at my sister’s camp.  They have a new building.  It’s actually an old, recycled, free building donated from one of the parks.  It needs renovation inside and out.  There is an attached porch/mudroom that does not yet have a door.  It’s more like an open porch.  In the one room that is sort of finished, my sister’s brother-in-law is staying. 

Electricity is limited to an extension cord running from the kitchen and into the building.  The mudroom doesn’t have any lights.  At one point in time, a huge blue barrel was in the porch, used for trash.  I’m thinking alcohol was involved in what happened next, but that part of the story was never confirmed.  One night the brother-in-law was on his way home.  When he entered the mudroom, there was a bear sorting through the trash.  The brother-in-law was between the bear and the exit, not a good place to ever find yourself.  Some bears might stand their ground and the results could be ghastly.  This bear just swatted the pesky human into the wall and made a quick exit out of the room.  The brother-in-law was bruised and banged up for a couple of days.  He also wins the award for best bear story of the season.  If there is a bear story to top this one, I don’t want to be involved.  And, in case you are wondering, the blue barrel is no longer in that porch area.
​
Hmmm . . . I don’t want to be near bats or gnats or bears.  Am I being too picky?
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“Safety and security don’t just happen; they are the result of collective consensus and public investment. 
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