To get anything done in Belize, you gotta know a guy.  If you know a guy, you can get avocados, or stone crabs, or lobsters (in season) when nobody else has them.  You can get water delivered to your house at a cheaper rate than your neighbor pays.  If you know a guy, anything is possible in Belize. 

I know a guy.

My guy is Luis, the Belizean man that I met on my morning walks.  He is becoming one of my sister’s guys as well.  I don’t really need a guy in Belize.  My sister needs things done around her home since she has property here.  One of the things she wanted was a raised flower bed area along the side of her house.  She wanted a wooden stake fence created that elevates the level of the ground to protect the plants from salt water during storm flooding.  My guy, Luis, was able to do that for my sister. 

Now, my sister has another guy that has been her guy for years.  Valentine takes care of her house and yard all year round, whether my sister is in Belize and especially when she is not.  My sister bought some bamboo plants from another guy who came by her home selling things.  She always supports these people.  Her guy, Valentine, said she bought poorly.  The bamboo was too large and so the roots were cut when the plants were potted.  Smaller plants do better because the roots are not disturbed.  Who knew?  Certainly not me or my sister.  But, her guy knew.

Now, Valentine might know about plants, but he has no sense of style.  When my sister asked him to plant three plants by the front fence, he planted all five.  Okay, perhaps his English isn’t that great.  Maybe he only understood about planting the bamboo, but not the specifics.  But, that has nothing to do with style.  He thought it would be wise to surround each plant with protection.  He didn’t use stone or bricks.  There were no decorative sea shells around that bamboo.  There was no clever fence made of sticks, like those that are so common on the island.  No, these bamboo plants were surrounded by old golf cart tires.  It looked like a touch of hillbilly heaven brought down to the tropics.  Valentine was most likely very pleased with his work.  Nobody else was.
 
The next morning, when Valentine was not in sight, my sister covered over those tires with sand and potting soil.  It took a couple of wheel barrows full of sand to accomplish the style correction.  But, it was worth the effort.

My sister and her husband also know a gal.  If you want a massage around San Pedro, you contact Mel.  She comes to your home prepared with her table and all the other goodies she needs to do the job right.  At least, my sister and her husband enjoy what she does.  That isn’t on my bucket list of things I want done to me.  I don’t think it will ever happen.  My last massage was in a Moroccan hammam and I never want another. (That guy took great pleasure in pulling, stretching, rubbing raw and cleansing the only American who ever visited that place.  Never again.)

One day, when Mel finished her massage work, my sister walked her out to the front porch.  They passed by me as I worked with my laptop at the kitchen table.  It’s my adopted office while in Belize.  Mel graciously greeted me on her way, but when she got outside, she looked at my sister and said, “There’s a white man in your house!”  Not pink.  Not sunburned.  Not a little bronzed from my daily walks every morning.  I was a white man and Mel was shocked.  She was even more shocked when my sister said, “That’s my brother.” 

“It can’t be!  How is that possible?”

My sister has been in Belize all winter.  She is the darkest I have ever seen her.  It’s happened without her even trying.  But, she is dark.  Mel believed that my sister probably had some Indian blood in her to be as dark as she was.  Nobody ever wonders about me.  Wherever I go and whenever I’m wherever, I always look lily white.  I may not look pure as the driven snow, but fortunately, there is none of that in Belize to worry about.

Wherever you go and wherever you plant yourself, I have found it's always better to know a guy (or a gal).  It certainly makes life easier when you travel, but it's just as important to have a guy wherever you call home.  So, if you have a guy, and I hope you do, be sure to take the time to thank that person.  Nobody wants to find themself without a guy.

My mother used to sell Avon.  I know all about Avon calling.  I also know a lot about getting Avon cologne for every occasion a gift might be given.  Those days are long gone, but I was reminded of them during my stay on Ambergris Caye in Belize.  My sister and her husband do not sell Avon, but they are very good marks on the island.  Some tourists seem to have glaring neon signs on their foreheads that read, "Rip me off!  Sell me anything - even cosmetics.  Yes, come rip me off!"  It's a big sign to put on the forehead, but lots of people wear them.

My sister and her husband don't wear that sign.  They just have good hearts and wants to help people in need. And if someone is trying to sell something to make a living, they are going to support them the best they can.  One of the easiest places to be spotted in San Pedro is at a restaurant.  Recently a group of children approached us selling little woven bracelets.  My brother-in-law bought one from each child and then told them to give the bracelets to a friend.  Another young man approached my sister as we ate at a thatched roof restaurant over the Caribbean shore.  Somebody in our group said, "No, thank you."  He immediately replied, "I don't accept no for an answer."

I thought, "That's a good reply!"  But, I still wasn't interested in a necklace.  I was much more interested in his hat.  It had the logo for a hotel on the island that I knew was "adults only".  I asked, "How can you have a hat for a hotel that you aren't allowed to go to?"  The owner was his god-mother.  Our conversation about the hotel was brief because Christian was more interested in a sale.  And, my sister left the restaurant with a lovely green stone necklace to match her outfit.

I cannot say that I have been completely unscathed by these local craftsmen.  Or, maybe, hopefully, I have some of the generosity that my sister possesses.  One time a merchant showed us his goods which included unique seed pods.  He had them as key chains.  I asked if he also had them as necklaces.  He didn't.  But, he did real soon.  A few days later he showed up at my sister's home with the necklace I asked about.  I really didn't want it.  I just wanted to see it.  But, alas, it makes a lovely souvenir from Belize in my home and I photographed it for one of my Belizean recipes. 

So, you may have already noticed.  You really aren't safe in your home from door-to-door salesmen in tropical Belize, especially if you are an easy mark.  I mean, if you have a good heart.  The man who delivers water to my sister's home is also very happy to sell trees, plant them, work on small home repairs, paint your walls, or clean the sewage system.  Well, maybe not so thrilled about the sewage, but he knows a guy.  I'm not kidding.  And, a variety of other people showed up during my stay to sell more flowering plants, trees and souvenirs.  Before everything can be planted, one of the neighboring gardeners promised to provide the labor to install a small (but perhaps ever growing larger) flower bed for my sister.

One day, I happened to be the only one home when Lorenz knocked on the door.  He and his buddies just pulled their boat into my sister's pier and had fresh crabs and red snappers to sell.  You can't get it any more fresh than this.  My sister, "Miss Brenda", is one of their favorite clients.  Even though her name isn't really Brenda, she still takes good care of them and buys fresh from the sea as often as she can.  Lorenz told me that my sister is very kind.  He made no mention of a sign on her forehead.

So, in her absence, I went out to the pier to see what there was to see.  They had a large catch of stone crabs.  I supplied them a knife and they carved everything up right there on the spot.  I took photos while they answered questions.  Each of them were able to hold their breath underwater for about a minute.  They usually have to dive about eight to ten feet to catch the crabs (or lobster when in season).  It appears that their clients buy the crab claws but the fishermen take the body of the crabs home.  One of the men described the soup his wife prepared with crab meat and all kind of vegetables.  It sounded delicious.  I asked if he could bring me a bowl of the soup.  Of course, I was serious.  I doubt if he realized that.  If he does come through for me, I'll get another recipe.  I have learned, it never hurts to ask. 

When the fishermen left, I placed my purchase of stone crab claws in the freezer.  My sister returned home about fifteen minutes later.  The fishermen saw "Miss Brenda" on her journey and called out to her.  So, she knew the crab meat hadn't been in the freezer long.  She knew, but I certainly didn't, that you don't just put fresh crab meat in the freezer.  You must boil it first or the meat will be much more difficult to remove from the shell.  Who knew?  Certainly not me.

The one person I most want to stop by the house hasn't done it yet.  He still may, because he does if every now and awhile.  Fred Trejo is a local artist based in San Pedro.  His artwork is mostly tropical beaches, underwater depictions and local street scenes.  He does a good job with underwater sea turtles.  And, since this is a place that caters to fishermen, he has several paintings that show the sportsmen casting from their boats as well as a close-ups of the fish underwater.  However, fishing has no appeal to me.  I like his paintings that depict life in San Pedro the best.  They give a flavor of local architecture and life.  You can either paint architecture correctly or your can't.  If you can't handle perspective well, it will never look correct.  Fred does it very right.

I didn't want to leave a meeting to chance.  When I learned that the best way to contact Fred was by his Facebook account, I looked him up and suggested a meet.  Now, I wait and see what happens.  I've waited over a week without any luck, but I've done all I can.  If you want to see Fred's art, you can also look up his Facebook account.

Want a tropical souvenir to remind you of Caribbean sunshine in the dead of winter?  There is no limit to what you can find in Belize.  Sunshine, warm smiles, friendly people, beautiful sunsets and so much more!  But, you can't find one of those neon signs for your forehead that scream, "I'm a tourist.  Rip me off!"  You have to bring your own. 

I try to walk for an hour every day.  It doesn’t always happen – especially when it is cold or when Covid messes up my life.  But, when in sunny Belize, I try to walk every morning. 

It’s a unique experience walking along rural Ambergris Caye.  There are many Belizean gardeners and property managers outside while I stroll the island.  And, they are friendly.  Back home in Ohio, people nod and say hello.  It’s different in Belize.  People stop me and want to talk.  They want to show me the flower gardens they tend.  They want me to feel welcome.

None of them could be any friendlier than Luis.  When he stopped me, I asked one of my favorite questions.  What should I eat in Belize?  His answer was relleno.  (The two l’s have a “y” sound.)  I never heard of that dish.  So, I had to ask, “Do you prepare it with iguana?”  The answer might surprise you.  “Guatemalans eat iguana.  We don’t eat that in Belize.”

My sister knew all about relleno.  Her Belizean friends had prepared it before.  She knew all about how time consuming it was to make.  I was clueless.  So, when Luis suggested we come to his home for relleno – without first consulting with his wife – I wasn’t sure what I was going to get.

Well, let me tell you, it is delicious!

Luis’ wife Oly prepared the dish.  And, it was as delicious as she was delightful.  Relleno is eaten only on special occasions because of the time involved.  My birthday?  December.  Luis and Oly’s anniversary?  Next month.  My sister’s birthday?  Next week.  So, we decided to celebrate her day.

The key ingredient for relleno is a paste called “black ricado”.  (It’s also available in red, in case you are interested, and I think the red is part fire and part hot pepper.)  The making of the paste is what requires massive amounts of time.  You start with tortillas.  Cook them until you blacken them.  Then, you must wash the tortillas until you clean away all that black.  You have to wash them two or three times.  Next, you grind up the tortillas and add all kinds of spices including cumin, pepper, allspice, garlic and onion.  After hearing about all that work, I had to ask.  If you are a die-hard chef, I’m guessing you have to prepare your ricado this way.  But, if you are like me and really don’t cook that much, can you buy it already prepared?  They answer was “yes”.  So, you know what would happen in my kitchen.  Of course, everyone knows it tastes better when everything is fresh.  That just doesn’t matter to me enough to go through all that work.

Ingredients:
          .....1 lb. ground beef or chicken            ................5 boiled chicken eggs
          .....1 tsp salt                                           ...............3 raw eggs
               ¼ cup of black ricado                       ...............1 whole chicken           
             ..2 or 3 garlic cloves, minced             ...............1 whole haberno pepper
               2 onions, minced   

Brown the ground beef and add salt, the black ricado, garlic and onions.  After it is cooked, stir in the boiled eggs whites and mix thoroughly.  Turn off the heat.

Separate the meat in the middle and drop the three eggs in the center.  Stir them up into the meat mix. 

Stuff your chicken with the meat mix and the whole egg yolks in the same way you stuff a Thanksgiving turkey.  Then, sew up the chicken so all those goodies stay inside the bird.

If you made your own black ricado, you should have left-over juices.  If like me, you would never make black ricado when you can buy it already prepared, dilute a tablespoon or two of black ricado in pot big enough to boil your stuffed chicken.  Add fried garlic and onions to the broth along with one whole habanero pepper.  Just one pepper?  That’s right.  Luis and Oly only like a little fire.  And, if you want to add extra veggies like potatoes, tomatoes, sweet peppers and carrots, feel free to slice away.

Boil for 30 to 45 minutes.  Flip the bird after twenty minutes of boiling.  Serve the chicken and what was cooked inside the bird with the broth as a soup along with a plate of rice.  Now, if you don’t know how you are supposed to eat it, do as I did, and asked Luis.  Take a spoonful of rice and dip it in the soup to soak up some flavor.  Then, enjoy.

You may think that one cooking lesson with Oly, especially preparing relleno, was way more than any gringo should expect.  You'd be correct.  But, I was invited back for another lesson just a few days later.  This time, I learned how to make tortillas.  It's much more simple and way more of a staple in the Belizean diet.  It was also delightful to witness (and participate in).

Ingredients:
            ...3 cups flour                             .....................2 ½ Tbs baking powder
             ..½ cup lard                               .....................½ Tbs salt

Combine the ingredients and add water until the flour reaches the right consistency to knead. What is that consistency?  How do you know when you’ve reached it?  I have no idea.  It’s a feel.  And, when you’ve done this enough, you know the right feel for the dough.  Next, you knead the dough until it reaches the proper texture.  Again, it’s a feel.  How long do you knead it?  I’d say it was at least ten minutes.  I never felt the necessary feel.  But, at some point, Oly was satisfied

Oly pinched off dough in tiny balls between her thumb and finger.  Then, she rolled them a little more.  All the flour made about 15 balls of dough when she was done working.  Oil up your hands to coat each ball and place them in a covered bowl to rest a while. 

Heat up the tortilla plate for a good long time.  Oly had a gas oven.  They flame licked at that metal plate a good ten minutes before she was ready.  Then, she flattened the dough balls on an oiled counter top.  With two hands she flattened the balls into perfect circles.  Mine were not nearly as perfect.

Lift up the dough tortilla and place on the hot plate until one side is golden.  Then, without the use of a spatula, flip that tortilla over until the other side is the same lovely shade of gold.  Multi-task as you wait.  Continue flattening dough balls until all fifteen tortillas are ready for your meal.  When we were done, Oly served me up my tortillas with refried beans along with eggs and sausage. 

Delicioso!

Covid 19 messed up my winter schedule.  I had plans to visit my sister on her beachfront Caribbean home in Belize early into the chill of winter.  But, we all know about best-laid plans.  When Robert Byrnes coined the poem in 1786, he said, “the best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.”  My experience had nothing to do with mice, Scotland, or poetry.  It had a lot to do with a nastly little virus.

I got sick on Christmas Eve.  I didn’t have horrible symptoms.  I was just exhausted. Eleven days into it, I finally went to Urgent Care and the Emergency Room.  That’s when I tested positive for Covid and I spent four weeks in bed.  The worst news was that I most likely would test positive on Covid tests for quite a while, so Belize was out of the picture for an indeterminate time.

My doctor said it usually takes around 90 days to pass a Covid test after being struck by that nasty little virus.  I was close to that limit, sort of, but the next hurdle was getting a test within the 72-hour window required by Belize.  Urgent Care would not give a test for travel.  My pharmacy couldn’t guarantee results that fast.  My doctor recommended another site.  It was impossible to call them so I had to go there and meet them face-to-face.

It was kind of like driving up to a toll booth.  I asked the woman there about the speed of results, asking, begging, if it was possible to get a Monday test, with Tuesday results, for a Wednesday flight.  She was positive, hopeful, but made no promises.  I said I wanted to be the first patient of the day.  What time did they open?  8:00

I showed up at the testing site at 7:30, the first client as promised.  I fully expected to wait there a half hour and read.  But, a nice young woman opened the door to speak to me.  She asked for my identification.  I said, “Before you see my I.D., I think you need to see these donuts.” 

I think the women liked that.

I was instructed to pull up to the next door.  Again, I expected to wait a half hour, but another woman came out to swab my throat.  I fully recommend throat cultures over nasal intrusions.  No pain.  No tears.  No trauma.  I was tested and home before that testing site even officially opened.  And, in less than 24 hours, I had the needed test results and I was free to go to Belize.

This little corner of Caribbean paradise had Covid restrictions greater than anything I’d seen in Ohio.  Before entering any store or office, everyone was expected to stop at the hand sanitation center for cleaning up.  The 10:00 P.M. curfew is still in effect, but that doesn't present any kind of difficulty in my life in San Pedro.  Fortunately, armed police boats no longer circled the island to prevent passage back and forth from Mexico.    Still, everyone was required to wear a mask at all times outside of the house.  There was an exception for exercise, but most other times, my mask was up and sweat poured down the sides of my face.   Masks were seriously never meant for tropical weather.

Enough with talk on nasty little viruses!  My walk on the wild side also included leaping lizards.   My sister and I decided it was well past time for us to explore the Eco Iguana Corner Foundation.  This lizard sanctuary is in downtown San Pedro.  Who knew?  I’ve been to San Pedro more times than I can count, and this was the first time I ever heard of it.  You would never stumble upon it by accident.  It’s located in a back corner of town on the lagoon side of the island.  Yes, it’s an easy walk from the city center, but no tourist walking the three main streets of San Pedro would ever find the place by accident.  You must know where it is and look for it.  Success is not guaranteed.

The owner, Calvin, has cared for the iguana at this reserve for over a decade.  He’s really a friendly soul.  He said he wanted to teach his children all about kindness and his method was through lizards.  Calvin isn’t just kind to his children and reptiles. Shockingly, unBELIZEably, it is free to visit the sanctuary.
 
I came with such low expectations.  I’ve visited third-world zoos in the past.  I expected reptiles in cages.   The sanctuary boasts over 250 iguanas.  Yes, they’d be easy to photograph and I’d get closer than I usually can get to the critters in the wild.  However, they would still be in cages. 

But, they weren’t.

I spied my first iguana on the road, by a mangrove lagoon area, before I saw the entrance to the sanctuary.  And then, I saw so many more.  Upon entering the Eco Iguana Corner Foundation, free-range (or free-swamp) iguana wandered on the pathways, through the mangrove roots, across the access bridge and up into the branches.  They came in all sizes!  There were some of the biggest iguanas I’d ever seen in all my travels.  And, delightfully, they were accustomed to visiting humans and had no fear.  Yes, some people might have a little fear of leaping lizards over a yard long, but these critters knew how to thank the hands that fed them.  Bring them fresh fruit – and their favorite is bananas – and they would eat right out of your hands.  They didn’t mind posing for photos at all.  To get the full iguana experience, check out this video of leaping lizards.

Iguana are now a protected species in Belize.  They didn’t used to be and they didn’t earn the nickname “bamboo chicken” for nothing.  I learned on previous trips to the island that most people didn’t eat black iguana.  They preferred the green ones.  Personally, I prefer meat that goes “cluck” or “moo”.  But, I asked around how to prepare an iguana if you were going to cook one.  Nobody could tell me.  They said I’d have to ask someone from Guatemala.Alas, I met no Guatemalans.

I did, however, meet a lot of Belizeans and dogs when I walked every morning.  The Belizeans were usually gardeners and property managers of the rental homes I passed along the way.  Lulu, Cinnamon, Brownie and a few other dogs that frequently joined in on the morning walks belonged to those properties. Most houses were on the left side of my walk, along the Caribbean Sea.  The right side of the street (actually a dirt path) offered swamp land, occasional iguanas, tropical birds, mangroves and a lot of muck and mire.

On one particular morning, Lulu ran close to our side.  And, it was a little on the wild side.  At one point the dog jumped into the water along the side of the road.  I know that sometimes, somehow, construction workers and men who installed electricity lines ventured into the muck where I would never go.  I mean, do I have to go into detail what can hide in swampy muck and mire?  Have you seen “The Creature from the Black Lagoon”?   

But, the dog jumped in without a care in the world.  And, Lulu was just fine.

However, her activity got me looking on the other side of the swamp/stream/murky water. And, that was when I spotted the crocodile.  It's the closest I've ever seen one in the wild.  It was about six or eight feet long and 15 steps away.  Fifteen steps wasn't a big enough distance to feel safe if there wasn't a body of water separating me from those jaws.  But, there was that water and I got a great picture during this walk on the wild side.