Recently I heard from someone and it's been a whole lot longer than a month since I last had communication. He said he was in the doghouse with his wife and had been there a while. I was given no details and didn't think it was my place to ask. But, I've been thinking about it a while. I know every situation is different, there are always at least two sides to every argument, and both sides frequently share some of the blame. Still, I feel that a lot of problems come down to communication. It's been written that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. That would create enough problems. However, it seems to me that a lot of spouses, either men or women, are from a more distant planet, Uranus.
It's my understanding that women tend to verbalize their feelings more than men. I know it's a stereotype, but men really are happy with a remote control for the football game in their right hand and a plate of lasagna in their left. That's all the communication needed. But, if there are problems in a relationship, I think there needs to be more communication. Three words should be said often, sincerely, and again and again. Those three words are not "Where's the remote?" or "Honey, do this!" And we all have heard it, actions speak louder than words. Seriously, I think that men are far more influenced through actions rather than words. Say the right words and you might not be sincere; be nice to me and you're going to get my attention. This probably works for women as well.
Like I said, ladies and gentlemen, I've been thinking about this. And, I passed my idea along to two trusted women who wholeheartedly agreed with me, even before I finished my question. So, I think I might be on the right track with this. If you aren't as close to your spouse as you'd like to be, it's time for some communication. If there is any kind of problem, I strongly suggest you decide to do something about it.
Here's my suggestion. I think you need to do a small romantic gesture every day. Every day for the rest of your life. Yes, every day. If you can't think of things to do, go online and search "list of romantic gestures". There are tons of ideas to get you started. I'm not talking time consuming and expensive things. I'm talking about random acts of kindness like loading the dishwasher, taking out the trash, and sweeping the kitchen for starters. Then, leave love notes hidden in the silverware or taped to the vacuum cleaner or milk carton. When they are discovered, it will be a moment in the day to savor. And, if you do it every day, I'm sure your spouse will look forward to each day's surprise.
If you do this every day, I think it should change the way you think about your spouse. Hopefully, you'll appreciate him/her even more. And, if you do something romantic every day, it will (should?) eventually change how your spouse feels about you. People want to be appreciated. People need to hear and see that they are appreciated. Every day!
So, put down your cell phone. Turn off the television with the remote control still in your right hand. Find time in your schedule for no video games. Shut down your computer (after finishing my blog) and come up with a list of things you can do to surprise the one you love. Do this. You might find yourself off of Mars and Venus and living happily ever after on Earth. If you don't do this, you might as well pack up your bags, get out of Uranus, and set up your doghouse on Pluto. Unfortunately, you'll probably have lots of company. But, you really don't need to be there.